From great pain comes a greater purpose && with great loss comes a greater legacy.
Prior to college I was living life on fire for God and chasing my dreams with a passion filled by Him. See, by the time I was 14-years-old two of my brothers had already passed away and honoring them fueled my existence, just to make them proud.
My mind and heart were led off course when my step-sister passed away, at the time she was still carrying her third gorgeous daughter whom flys high with her mother in heaven, and my life was never the same. During that spring semester of my sophomore year of college I turned to a life of alcohol and partying that pushed away my loved ones leaving painful scars in the wake of my selfishness and I sabotaged my spiritual relationship for a temporal fix. I gained 60 pounds in a 6 month time frame and I was completely broken.
How was I worthy of a life when my siblings had lost theirs?! One of my brothers was 17 and died in a car wreck, another was 31 and died being morbidly obese and essentially being put to rest because of his cardiomyopathy, then my sister was so young with daughters whom were left without her. HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO GO ON?!? Yet, my Father God showed me mercy and grace by pulling me out of my self-inflicted pain, through running. At first I was running away from my problems of grief and loss, but my Father God showed me that the pain was my fuel. The pain has become my purpose in a way to show others that your life does NOT end with death. There is an eternal life to be sought after through a strength NOT our own, but HIS. "You make known to me the path of life; you fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand." [Psalm 16:11]
In February 2014, two years after I graduated college, I married my high school sweetheart. Evan has shown me an unconditional love that I haven't deserved at times, but that I cherish and honor more than ever before. That November, we found out I was pregnant and running was part of that full 40 week journey. At 20 weeks pregnant I ran a half marathon and found out I was having a girl at the very end. It was the perfect gender reveal for me and my spirit. (Side Note: Upon overcoming, a healthy lifestyle and with God's guidance I have lost all the extra "comfort" weight.)
My daughter has been someone whom has given me a drive that I did not know I could possess. Those little hands, her bright aquamarine eyes and her innocent happiness stir my heart. Living a life for God that she can one day admire and look up to as an example of a sinner saved by God's grace is an honor to tackle each day and strive to do humbly.
We almost lost our daughter October of this year, but God's joy in us is bigger than the depths of hell. "May the God of HOPE fill you with all JOY and PEACE as you TRUST IN HIM." [Romans 15:13] Satan seems to be at work stronger today, but my God is bigger and my faith is greater and HIS purpose is more prevalent than ever.
"RISE and GO; your faith has made you well." [Luke 17:19]
There is purpose from your pain && legacies from your losses.
Imperfectly Yours,
Katie