January of this year I found myself in a very vulnerable state of emotion. I was walking into a season of life that I did not even know about yet and I was at a breaking point. I was “brave” from past circumstances I had overcome, “strong” because of how I had handled them, yet still so broken because I had never dealt with how it affected me. Have you ever been there — brave, strong and broken?
Everyone has to face a struggle at some point in life. We all have to go through trying times, but does it ever end? Sometime toward the end of August, last month, I was sharing my story with a client of mine and she asked me, “Katie, do you ever think it will end?”
“What do you mean?”
Client: “The struggles and hard times that you face. You’re 27-years-old and you have faced more than most twice your age. Do you ever think it will end?”
(I paused.) I was thinking of what to say and how to say it. Part of me wanted to scream, “YES OF COURSE,” as loud as I could. However, I knew that wasn’t the answer I needed to give.
“Honestly, no.”
(My client’s demeanor changed and confusion took over.)
“You know something that I have learned throughout trial and hardship in life — it never stops. When I am taking the road I feel I am meant to take that’s when hardship strikes. It happens when I’m doing what I should be doing and it comes at me in the most vulnerable ways.”
(Her face softened as what I had just said was sinking in.)
“We face trial no matter what path we take, but even on the right path we are attacked in some of the worst ways. I don’t have all the answers and I do NOT know how everything will turn out, but my faith gives me comfort. I’ve learned that if you don’t face resistance, then it’s probably not God and through that I know that even in the trials I am blessed — we are blessed.”
(Her teary-eyed smile will remain with me forever.)
I believe that in our weakness God is capable of being made stronger and the greatest trials are given to God’s greatest warriors. God knows our potential and He knows that we can’t overcome it alone, but with Him we can.[1] That’s the thing about God’s power, it only rises up and is used if we ask for His help.[2] Surrender is hard for everyone, but it is also the greatest love you can show to THE BIG MAN upstairs.[3] God can’t become stronger if you don’t call on Him and walk by faith. I know that it’s one thing to say it, but you have to PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH at the same time.[4]
My greatest pain has become my greatest purpose and for me to give up on my purpose because it is too hard would be a disservice to others and disrespectful to God. I’m not perfect and I sin just like everyone else sins, we don’t all sin the same way, but to Him it’s all the same.[5] I ask for forgiveness daily, not just out of the need to — but the want to be honorable.
As long as I live I know that the trials I face will not only keep coming at me, but they will become more difficult and will become harder. Yet, God has proven His faithfulness because in my past weakness when I was at my lowest I called on God and He answered.[6] The answer isn’t what we always want to hear, it rarely is, but I know I have to be obedient. Being obedient and walking my faith creates a boldness inside to arise and do what you’ve been called to do.[7]
I may be broken, but I’ve been made stronger and — made BRAVE.
My question for you is this — are you a WARRIOR or are you AWOL? I don’t judge people and won’t judge your answer — that’s for the one in charge and always watching.
Imperfectly Yours,
Katie
Katie
[1]2 Corinthians 12:19 – But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
[2]Matthew 7:7 – Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.
[3]James 4:7 – Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
[4]James 2:26 – As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.
[5]James 2:10 – For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.
[6]Jeremiah 33:3 – Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.
[7]Deuteronomy 5:33 – Walk in obedience to all that the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days in the land that you will possess.