DEAR NON-MOM FRIENDS

If you are a mom I would bet that you can totally relate to what you are about to read and if you can’t relate, then, I’m a little jealous of you.

Dear Non-Mom Friends,

Let me start by saying this is not inclusive to ALL of my non-mom friends. I want to say that this is not a letter of excuses. Yes, it will seem that way because you’ve felt that I have been making excuses since the birth of my daughter. However, it’s not excuses, but a change in my priorities. It is actually a complete shift of life!!

I’m sorry I don’t return texts and calls pretty much EVER. In the beginning I was trying to navigate breast-feeding (which was a complete failure). I was trying to navigate being a mom, catching up on sleep (that two years later I have yet to do). I was learning how to take care of another human being, I was figuring out how to shower more than twice a week (on a good week). I was cleaning up diapers that the word explosion doesn’t even describe and attempting to remember me time (let’s be real I gave up on me when I became a mom). 

Around the time my daughter turned six-months-old I began receiving calls and texts of how I was a “bad” friend. I received messages on how I was a selfish person for not making time for others. ARE YOU SERIOUS?!? I birthed a human!! My priority was my daughter and instead of being asked how I was doing I was getting lectures on how-to-be a good friend. 

Next.

Doctors tell you about postpartum depression, but they don’t prepare you for it. It’s hinted on in doctor’s appointments, but that’s about it. Postpartum depression is so much bigger than five minutes of conversation. It attacks when you feel things should be getting into a normal rhythm and develops as anxiety, too. I had postpartum depression kick in at about four months and my husband was the one to finally do something about it a few months later. I developed anxiety that escalated to fear of even walking out of the house to check the mailbox. Once, I didn't leave my house for TWO solid months and while the walls were closing in, the outside world seemed scarier.

Along with that I had separation anxiety from my child. Yes, I DEVELOPED SEPARATION ANXIETY FROM HER!! You can’t explain this fearful anxiety to anyone. All you know is that the paranoia comes and you even become afraid of leaving your child alone in a crib just to take a shower. I would cry in my doorway just watching her sleep from the weighing guilt of “leaving” her to take a shower!! 

Seems silly, right? 

Yeah — it’s not so silly when you’re in the middle of it.

It’s not so silly when friends and family are bashing you for your “selfish” attitude when all the while you’re just trying to navigate motherhood — among the other mounting stresses of this thing called life. However, NOT ONCE are moms that go through this asked, “How are you?” 

We get asked during all of our pregnancy, but when the real stress comes there is no one to be found. CUTE BABY!! GOOD LUCK!!

Fast forward to present day.

I know I’m skipping a lot of middle info, but that’s for another day. My separation anxiety is a million times better and everyday is less of a struggle to turn the car key and shift into drive. Listen, I’m not negative Nancy and truly am happy, but life gets even the best of us at times.

I’ve accepted that life will never be as it once was when it comes to friendships and even family ties. Some say I’m not a “normal” mom and the fact I’ve become a stay-at-home mom makes some people turn their noses towards me. 

I digress from here because that’s a topic for a later date. The fact of the matter is that when you become a mom life itself changes, COMPLETELY. It’s not just the cute addition of your child, but the mental stress of the how-to-dos, the hormonal changes that no amount of doctor’s appointments will ever fully fix or explain, the physical hang-ups of losing baby weight or even gaining more and every unknown that I myself am still trying to understand.

Non-mom friends, when your mom friends say that it’s not you it’s me — WE MEAN IT!! We know you don’t understand, but we want you to. At the same time we don’t want to hinder your life and all the memories you are making. Of course we still want to know about the advances of your careers and we want to be there for the big moments in your life. However, as moms, we also understand that seasons change and as we change, so do you.

A friend of mine, who is a mother of two children, once said,  “Honestly Katie, if Gracie would have been my first she would have been my last.” 

My daughter is strong-willed, smart, witty, intelligent, observant, discerning and only two months into being two-years-old. I love my daughter more than anything and would take a bullet for her. I also know that my daughter has the determination and strong-willed nature of, well, her mother.

Some of my best characteristics can at times be my worst and I see that in my child, too. We work together on our negatives and embrace our independent attitudes. You see, I may only have one child, but even a mom of two would rather the attitudes of her TWO over my ONE. Life is different, priorities are different, the dynamics are not the same and I embrace that every day.

So — as I said earlier this is to my non-mom friends (some not all) and I think of you often. Those I don’t see anymore, I miss you every day, but as life changes and we adapt I pray you’re adapting well. 

My number is the same if you ever need me. Please don’t be upset if I don’t answer right away.

Mom life is NOT my excuse, it is my reason and Gracie is the testimony of that.

Imperfectly Yours,
Katie

YOUR INSPIRING LOSS

Did it ever occur to you that maybe your trial is someone else's hope? 

Here's my thought: God already knows how strong you are and knows that you can endure the trials. God has entrusted YOU with the tough stuff because He knows YOU are capable of praising Him in the storm. (That's pretty amazing if you ask me -- for God to trust us with the enemy's worst for His best.) BUT maybe there's someone else that needs hope. They need that inspiration from YOU to see or hear of when you got knocked down and got back up. 

Maybe the loss and heartache you've endured is a needed example for someone else's life changing transformation.

I’ve made a blog post about my story before, but I’ve never quite embraced it from a visual or vocal interpretation. In order to help others we have to voice our struggles and how we choose to overcome.

Here I am — vulnerable & hopeful. 

Imperfectly Yours,

Katie

TODDLER FITNESS

I feel like this video speaks for itself, but of course you know I have a story to add. 

I am a Matrix Fitness (MX4) instructor at Physique’s Elite in Lafayette, LA — owned by MX4 Master Trainer Khristie Gass. After teaching my daughter, 2 years and 2 months in this video, is always intrigued with the equipment in the Elite room. So, today, I CAUTIOUSLY allowed her to try out a few pieces of equipment. This video is her on the rower/erg and I must say I am very surprised at how well she did this. Yes, I know it is quite large compared to her — it’s an adult piece of equipment (why I was extremely cautious), but I must give credit where credit is due.

Children see all we do and the example we set is imperative to their future.

PARENTS: We are the influencers of the next generation. If your example is something you would not be proud of if you saw it in your child — maybe you need to start setting a new example.

Imperfectly Yours,

Katie

DRIVEN BY comPASSION

"How do athletes describe you as a coach?"

Our instructor asked us this as I sat in my RRCA training class a few weeks ago. However, I instantly found this a tad amusing because I have heard a number of lines that go a little like this:

"Katie is like a sour patch kid -- she seems nice and then turns slightly evil."

I laugh at this because the women that I train know that I am far from mean or evil -- I just like to give tough love when I train others. People do not pay me to let them slack off during a workout, otherwise they would be completely comfortable training themselves and not seeking the guidance of a coach or trainer.

Yet, I wrote down on my paper one word that I know is always used and that I strive to live by every single day. The word that is usually used to describe me is PASSIONATE and I can't deny the fact I am most certainly driven by PASSION.

So, why am I bringing this up?

Yesterday, my pastor preached on being a compassionate person. My pastor posted to Facebook a few weeks ago or so asking for feedback about this exact topic and here was my response:

One of my constant prayers: “Father God, break my heart for what breaks yours.” Through the answer I’m always filled with compassion and an unexplainable yearning to continuously strive to do more.

On a personal note, I have to prepare myself beforehand and PRAY because when God orchestrates how to show me that brokenness it is usually in the middle of the future MESS•age & TEST•imony to come.

By compassion I’m able to give grace and forgiveness to others. We could all use more of that.

More times than not compassion is found when you discover what breaks your heart. Sounds pretty counter-intuitive, but if you aren't moved to tears by your passion then maybe your not emotionally invested in what you are trying to achieve. If you are emotionally absent from your passion -- how can you walk in compassion? One of the characteristics of a compassionate person is that they inspire through passion.

That is what I try to do and that is what my goal is in life -- to inspire others through my passion.

I pray that PASSIONATE is always used when I'm described as a coach, trainer or anything else in this life. Even in the moments of tough love towards those I love and care for -- I am always driven by my PASSION for their betterment. PASSION is comPASSION and Christ was the purest form of PASSION.

Ask yourself this, do you like the words that come to mind when people describe the type of person you are? If not maybe it's time to reevaluate where you are right now in life and how you want to be remembered.

Imperfectly Yours,

Katie

BRAVE. STRONG. BROKEN.

January of this year I found myself in a very vulnerable state of emotion. I was walking into a season of life that I did not even know about yet and I was at a breaking point. I was “brave” from past circumstances I had overcome, “strong” because of how I had handled them, yet still so broken because I had never dealt with how it affected me. Have you ever been there — brave, strong and broken?

Everyone has to face a struggle at some point in life. We all have to go through trying times, but does it ever end? Sometime toward the end of August, last month, I was sharing my story with a client of mine and she asked me, “Katie, do you ever think it will end?”

“What do you mean?”

Client: “The struggles and hard times that you face. You’re 27-years-old and you have faced more than most twice your age. Do you ever think it will end?”

(I paused.) I was thinking of what to say and how to say it. Part of me wanted to scream, “YES OF COURSE,” as loud as I could. However, I knew that wasn’t the answer I needed to give.

“Honestly, no.”

(My client’s demeanor changed and confusion took over.)

“You know something that I have learned throughout trial and hardship in life — it never stops. When I am taking the road I feel I am meant to take that’s when hardship strikes. It happens when I’m doing what I should be doing and it comes at me in the most vulnerable ways.”

(Her face softened as what I had just said was sinking in.)

“We face trial no matter what path we take, but even on the right path we are attacked in some of the worst ways. I don’t have all the answers and I do NOT  know how everything will turn out, but my faith gives me comfort. I’ve learned that if you don’t face resistance, then it’s probably not God and through that I know that even in the trials I am blessed — we are blessed.”

(Her teary-eyed smile will remain with me forever.)

I believe that in our weakness God is capable of being made stronger and the greatest trials are given to God’s greatest warriors. God knows our potential and He knows that we can’t overcome it alone, but with Him we can.[1] That’s the thing about God’s power, it only rises up and is used if we ask for His help.[2] Surrender is hard for everyone, but it is also the greatest love you can show to THE BIG MAN upstairs.[3] God can’t become stronger if you don’t call on Him and walk by faith. I know that it’s one thing to say it, but you have to PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH at the same time.[4]

My greatest pain has become my greatest purpose and for me to give up on my purpose because it is too hard would be a disservice to others and disrespectful to God. I’m not perfect and I sin just like everyone else sins, we don’t all sin the same way, but to Him it’s all the same.[5] I ask for forgiveness daily, not just out of the need to — but the want to be honorable.

As long as I live I know that the trials I face will not only keep coming at me, but they will become more difficult and will become harder. Yet, God has proven His faithfulness because in my past weakness when I was at my lowest I called on God and He answered.[6] The answer isn’t what we always want to hear, it rarely is, but I know I have to be obedient. Being obedient and walking my faith creates a boldness inside to arise and do what you’ve been called to do.[7]

I may be broken, but I’ve been made stronger and — made BRAVE.

My question for you is this — are you a WARRIOR or are you AWOL? I don’t judge people and won’t judge your answer — that’s for the one in charge and always watching.

Imperfectly Yours,
Katie

 [1]2 Corinthians 12:19 – But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

[2]Matthew 7:7 – Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

[3]James 4:7 – Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

[4]James 2:26 – As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.

[5]James 2:10 – For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it.

[6]Jeremiah 33:3 – Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.

[7]Deuteronomy 5:33 – Walk in obedience to all that the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live and prosper and prolong your days in the land that you will possess.