OUR DEEPEST FEAR

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” -Marianne Williamson

I’ve loved this quote for a long time from Williamson. Today – I have a few other thoughts.

Isolation.
Lost.
Forgotten.

As I think about fear those are the words that creep into my mind and it makes me recount what I once thought as our deepest fear.

I think that our deepest fear is being so inadequate that we are forgotten.

I think that our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure and we don’t make a difference that is worth remembering.

The key factor in both of those thoughts is being forgotten.

The truth is that we seek a life that is everlasting. I’m not talking all ‘Tuck Everlasting’ and drinking from a stream in the woods. However, we all thought about how fascinating it would be to actually be able to find such a stream as this.

We want our names to be written in the history books as those before us.

We want to have our names forever written in the stars.

We want to be honored.

Aren’t we wanting something that we already have?

Luke 10:20 says, “However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.” WOW!!

Let that sink in for a second -- “…your names are written in heaven.”

God has already written our names in eternity!!

John 3:16 says, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

There He goes again being faithful to what He knows will succumb us with fear. He has already promised eternity to our lives when we believe.

Hebrews 13:5 says, “…God has said, ’Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’”

NEVER!!

God will remember us all the days of our lives and thereafter. He has written our names in the heavenly place where we are meant to spend eternity. We will not be forgotten.

I don’t know about you, but – that gives me so much joy and hope. It gives me, and you, identity in Christ and is a reminder that what we do on this earth does not matter if it does not glorify God.

From Galatians 1:5 I can faithfully say, “To God be the glory forever and ever! Amen."

Imperfectly Yours,

Katie

2018 WILL FAIL BY UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

To be honest, I didn’t hate all of 2017. If anything I had some of the best days of my life during the year.

But — I also had some of the absolute worst.

Every “New Year” we talk about how we plan to make the next year bigger and better than the last.

Why does it have to be so much BIGGER and BETTER?!

You want 365 days of sunshine and rainbows? I hate to bust your bubble, but you’re being unrealistic. 

You can’t expect joy without pain and no where has it EVER been written that life would be easy. It’s going to be hard, you’re going to have bad days, but those low days do not have to dictate your entire calendar year.

I challenge you to set a realistic standard that the next 365 days can uphold. Prepare to cry a day or two and guard your heart because a friend or family member will probably break it.

Also, control your emotions because you will certainly feel anger swell inside a few more times this year.

Know this, there is a silver lining. Something memorable will occur this year. Stop looking for perfection in an imperfect world and start making memories that are worth telling your future self.

Choose to rise above in order to forget the negative moments of last year. Decide today that you will not count 2017 as a failure because there is always a lesson to be learned. There is at least one moment from those 365 days that you can say was absolutely worth it and that, my friend, is your mustard seed.

I say all this because I look back on the day I ran the Boston Marathon in 2017. I won’t be running Boston in 2018, but does that mean my 2018 is destined to be less of a fulfilled year in my running career because I won’t be running the pinnacle of marathons that exists? HECK NO!!

Society says that we establish security by striving for more, but in 2018 I want to “MYTHBUSTER” this in a pretty big way.

Example?

The past two months my husband and I have been downsizing the material items in our home to make room for MUCH LESS. I think even he still becomes shocked by the fact he has more clothes than I do; that’s counting my running gear. We have a TINY HOUSE GOAL so that we can accomplish our BIG LIFE DREAMS!! 

Want more from LIFE, not possessions.

Less can be more and bigger doesn’t always mean better. Life will throw lemons and you can either mask it with sugar to drink the bitterness or THROW THE LEMON BACK!!

Become stronger from the hard times, embrace every good moment that comes your way and remember that no one is entitled to a life without the bad days. The bad days make the good days so much sweeter because without them you wouldn’t cherish the good like you do.

My worst day of 2017 was a nightmare brought to reality, but if all I do is remember the nightmare that came alive I will never allow myself to leave that painful moment. Sure we all remember the bad, but we don’t have to hold it hostage in our hearts.

The scars on our hearts show the brokenness that God has mended. In the mending — we are made stronger. Be stronger this year and don’t be so hard on yourself.

Just as 2017 came and went, so will 2018. It’s up to you how you remember it.

You’re reading this.
You’re breathing.
You’re not finished.

Write the story and make the memories you want to remember.

Now go, 2018 is waiting.

Imperfectly Yours,
Katie 

BE WILLING TO DIE FOR YOUR WHY

Will Smith is one of my all-time favorite actors. He embraces every character from every role that he acts as and leaves nothing to be questioned. He takes his talent, as he has notably stated before, and he beats on his craft until it becomes fine tuned.

This morning I was listening to interviews that Smith did years ago and two points stuck out to me. I've heard these interviews time and time again because I actually listen to motivational speeches during my workouts. However, this morning, these interviews struck chords in me in a different way.

Will Smith once said, "Greatness is something that truly exists in all of us...I know who I am, I know what I believe, and I’m willing to die for it."

I think we can all just let that sink in for a moment or two.

In another interview Smith said, “The only thing that I see that is distinctly different about me is I’m not afraid to die on a treadmill. You might have more talent than me, you might be smarter than me, but if we get on the treadmill together there’s two things; you’re getting off first or I’m gonna die. It’s really that simple.”

Hearing this, repeating this over and over, it makes me emotional.

I've said for years that there are two keys to accomplishing your goals; know your why and be determined to never give up. At the end of the day your determination to persevere is propelled by your why. Your why is what you look to when you feel that you are on the brink of quitting. When you get to a point of no return you remember why you started in the first place.

Why is not the number on a scale, why is not the number in a bank account -- your why fuels you with passion to fight against all odds. On your weakest day, your why makes you stronger. On your lowest day, your why causes you to rise to the occasion and KEEP GOING!!

Why isn't so much what pushes you, but what are you willing to die for? When we are willing to give our all, no matter the cost, and continue in the pursuit of our beliefs with passion -- you've found your why.

Your reason why will never stop you from living -- in fact your reason why will tell you to NEVER GIVE UP!!

Do that -- NEVER GIVE UP -- your reason why is counting on you.

Imperfectly Yours,

Katie

YOUR SORRY MOM

Dear Gracie,

I’m sorry. 

I’m sorry I can’t give you all that you could ever want. 

I hope you see I do everything I can to give you what you need.

I’m sorry that I can’t be the very best.

I hope you see that I still strive to be in everything I do.

I’m sorry that I've failed more times than I can count.

I hope one day you know that this is sometimes how you learn to succeed.

I'm sorry I can’t provide for you like other moms do for their children.

I hope one day you know that I choose and love being home with you every day.

I’m sorry for the times I’ve had to say no. 

I hope you see that the no days are what make the yes days so much sweeter.

I’m sorry I don’t always get it right.

I hope you see that my wrong days are the days I learn humble humility.

I’m sorry mommy isn’t perfect, but mommy is perfectly imperfect.

I hope you never strive for perfection because you, too, are perfectly imperfect.

One day, baby girl, you will know the sacrifice, the hard work, the heartache, and the guilt that comes with being a mother. One day, I hope you understand that mommy only wants the very best and I try to give that to you in every way possible. 

I’ll NEVER be sorry for having you — you gave me life when I wasn’t quite sure what was left. You give me that every single day.

I hope, one day, you see that love doesn't lie in the size of our house (especially since mommy and daddy have a new dream in mind), the number of toys you have, the amount of clothes we own, but in our hearts.

Just so, Christmas isn't defined by the type or amount of decorations we have around the house, the amount of money we spend on gifts or the number of presents you have under our little 24 inch snowman Christmas tree. ((That flamingo is a whole other story.))

I hope you remember the times that mommy stops to give the homeless man our food, the moments when we go to a drive-thru and purchase food for the woman who doesn't have a warm meal to eat. Those are the memories I want to instill in your little mind and put on your heart. I pray I show you these things each and every day and not just during the holidays.

I love you more than you will ever know and pray I am doing all God would have me do in your life. I don't get it right all the time, but for the most part -- I'd like to think I'm doing alright.

Imperfectly Yours,

Mom

THE WHEELCHAIR OF A CHILD

My heart has been moved, but being a mother — my heart is broken. My eyes have filled with tears too many times to count. Last year, we all know the story of me giving my daughter CPR and her living. However, I can’t imagine the feeling a parent would have when their child is diagnosed with cancer.

Cancer, an ugly word NO ONE wants to hear. Cancer, a cure only found through hope, research, doctors, medicine, needles, blood and trust in people you don’t even know. Cancer, the word no parent wants to hear and no child should have to endure. I had the opportunity to breathe life into my daughter, parents here don’t have that opportunity, they can only hope. While leaving the St. Jude Children's Research Hospital I came across this wheelchair. 

A wheelchair that a child once sat in before taking their last breath. A wheelchair that a parent once broke down in receiving news that their child wouldn’t see tomorrow. A wheelchair that, if it could speak, would tell you the story of the 4-year-old girl who pretended it was a race car through the halls of the hospital, her home. That wheelchair has held the most precious of lives, I feel so small compared to that wheelchair.

Imperfectly Yours,

Katie