CONSEQUENCES AND RESPECT

This isn’t just a picture of DOCTOR Gracie, but a life lesson on consequences and respect.

Halloween night, a few hours before trick-or-treating commenced our girl shushed an adult. Unlike my normal response, I bit my tongue and remained CALM. (Internally I was CLEARLY boiling over.) To begin, Daddy took the reigns and at one point asked her if she wanted to go trick-or-treating. At first, she said, “Yes.” Then, when she learned she had to say “I’M SORRY” a whole new slew of emotions took over her toddler body. 

Rigidness, quietness, silent tears — she was clearly embarrassed and her shy side mixed with anxiety didn’t help our situation. So, I put on my mom pants and said, “Gracie, until you apologize there will be no trick-or-treating or costume because we will CANCEL your Halloween.” 

Now, every parent feels a bit confident when they think they found the edge. To my utter disbelief, when I then tell her to again apologize she shakes her head NO!! With disappointment internally coming in waves, we proceed to CANCEL her Halloween.

We followed through with our words and as she continued with her stubbornness, go figure, we stood firm as parents. We want to raise a GOOD person, but when that is counteracted we MUST stay true to our beliefs and faith.

A few hours after tough love, life lessons, and my self-doubt as a mom/human — daddy took her for a walk that included another tough, but loving talk. By the end of the walk Gracie came to the decision that she is a big girl.

While picking flowers she told her daddy, “I’m a big girl and big girls say sorry when they’re not nice. I’m going to say sorry because I’m a nice big girl.” So, she apologized.

OUT OF THE MOUTH OF A BABE!!

See — despite popular belief it’s not all rainbows and butterflies. It wasn’t about being right as a parent, but the want to raise a good human. For every action there is a consequence and as parents we set the tone for our children. We are the ones who teach them whether or not bad actions receive punishment or reward.

This picture is our confidence that a good human is being formed. She learned to be respectful to others and that being a big girl means you have to have humility. I’m proud of our girl and she gives me countless more reasons to be every day.

Also, I’m proud of my husband and I as parents.

Because it’s hard.

REALLY HARD!!

Yet, days that ended like Halloween night make all the hard work in the middle so worth it.

Imperfectly Yours,

Katie

MY WORKING CHILD

“BUT MOMMMYY — I need to finish my work,” Gracie exclaimed. SERIOUSLY?! You would have thought I had just tried to steal chocolate ice cream from her. I was just letting the kid know I had finished writing for the day, GEESH!!

Here’s the “TEA” — my girl is OBSERVANT and gets easily bored. Yet, she uses words like miniature and well in the proper context. She’s only three-years-old, but has a spirit and intelligence beyond her years.

She can test me and inspire me all within the same breath. Every day I question myself and may even repent for a thought or two, but I wouldn’t trade being her mother for all the desires or fortunes in the world.

She’s my favorite && I’ll love her for eternity.

Imperfectly Yours,

Katie 

THE OVERWHELMING TO DO LIST

Back in school I was the nerdy kid that LOVED getting a new planner. ((Full disclosure -- I LOVE A GOOD SALE ON YEARLY PLANNERS!!)) I find that there is an art to writing, no matter what capacity you are doing it. BUT, there is nothing like that of a handwritten letter, note, journal, or even to do list. It feels like you are solidifying your plans into existence when writing them.

Excerpt From Leonardo Da Vinci's Handwritten Journal

Would you agree with me by saying that seeing the handwriting of an inventor, such as Leonardo Da Vinci, is beautiful? You can see the time taken to plan out his inventions and the care he put into each of his creations. I am not trying to parallel myself to Da Vinci, but there is a corresponding line in the peace that writing by hand can bring.

However, I've strayed away from the nostalgia of writing to create plans -- I'm especially NOT writing monotonousness to do lists.

This was never really an issue for me until I had my daughter three years ago. I pinpoint moment because as I take stock of my life I see where I subconsciously allowed postpartum depression and anxiety to take hold of my life. **If you are a mother that has suffered in silence as I have and did -- speak up!!** You are not alone in this struggle and there is nothing shameful about it.

With feelings of shame we feel that we won't measure up and it is a dark place to be. HOWEVER, when you speak up and speak out you find the fight within to rebuke that which weighs you down. You are able to become your best self through your broken pieces by receiving BEAUTIFUL PEACE!!

Maybe that tangent only spoke to me, but I do believe there is another person out there walking a similar road. I pray boldness and confidence over you -- in the name of Jesus.

Where was I?

THE TO DO LIST!!

((Mom brain harder than me.))

Yet, as I've matured in age, I've become overwhelmed by the method of writing THE to do list and creating plans BEFORE I even begin!! I'm afraid of what won't get done, of what I don't feel capable of doing, of the engagements with others that I won't be able to keep and on and on and on.

However, what if I could just start by accepting the fact that I won't finish everything on my to do list?!? WHAT IF I can accept that I won't finish on MY TIME?! WHAT IF I accept that I will finish, but on GOD'S TIME?! Then again, if I would just simply start the list I am already further along that I was yesterday.

What's my point of this, seeming to be, post of overthinking ALL the details?

1. ACCEPT THAT ALONE -- YOU ARE INCAPABLE!!

I don't mean this in a negative context, but with the encouragement that you find rest in your weariness. That you speak your weakness and choose to overcome it.

From the mouth of Jesus in Luke 18:27 he said, "What is impossible with man is possible with God."

2. WRITE THE DO LIST!!

You can't finish ANY race in life if you never start.
I want to one day say just as Paul writes in 2 Timothy 4:7, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."

3. BE EMPOWERED BY YOUR BIGGER PURPOSE!!

Do not be overwhelmed by trivial tasks!! Those tasks are meant to discipline to develop greater strength. When you remember your why and keep your focus on being a disciplined DISCIPLE of Christ it will be made WELL in your SOUL.
The perfect reminder of Philippians 4:6 tells us, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

4. BE THANKFUL YOU CAN WRITE THE LIST!!

Sometimes the larger picture can distract us from the importance of the little things. When we find gratitude and life in the mundane we are able to walk in Christ's confidence that we are royalty for his kingdom.
Take hold of 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 and let it's simple instruction not burden you, but LIGHTEN you!! For it says, "Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
Whether you are a mom, dad, grandparent, guardian, CEO, high school janitor, fitness enthusiast, restaurant server, wife, husband -- if you are a HUMAN BEING -- I would beg to say we can all relate in some form or fashion. We are in this fight together and Christ wants to be in the middle of it all!!

TAKE REFUGE IN HIM!!
-- even over a silly TO DO LIST.

Imperfectly Yours,

Katie

LATE NIGHT VULNERABLE RAMBLINGS

Maybe I’m the only one that thinks this way, but I doubt it. I know we all have bad days, good days, depressing days, top of the mountain days — even just numb days. 

There are moments of some days when I think — am I really doing all I am capable of or am I allowing my submissive kindness, that society calls respect, of those who have matured in age around me to stand in the way of my potential? 

I guess I question more and more as time goes on whether my decision making, in the case of staying safe, has been altered because I want to make others happy. OF COURSE IT HAS!! 

In the past three years I’ve learned more than ever that my husband and daughter come first and foremost. Those two are my heart and I — I — I am my life. I can control whether I choose right, left, backward, or forward. The choice to go forward takes a leap of faith, but to remain is to choose now. 

Now is good, now is even great, but we can’t stay in now forever. 

I miss my siblings, those whom have passed away. What would they say to me today? I miss my siblings, those whom I never get to see. We’re so much alike it’s uncanny that we never grew up together, but in the end we always have each other. 

In the doubt that anyone will read this far, I’ll add this, too. I miss my sibling whom I’ve never known. That thought keeps me awake at night and even during the day — I hope their life is full of abundance today. Maybe, one day, I’ll get to know her. 

Here’s to late night ramblings and thoughts I should keep to myself, rather than typing or writing them down. I’m simple, but complicated and to my husband — he’s the epitome of love and grace on earth.

Maybe you’re in a situation with too many looming decisions, life seems overwhelming. You can trust the constant presence of Christ. He sees you. He hears you. He remembers your struggles and is ready to guide and comfort you and your loved ones.

Fearlessly Yours,

Katie

HOME FROM THE HOSPITAL

We can’t say thank you enough for all the love and prayers our baby girl has received!!  Despite the creepy cuteness, we woke up at home yesterday morning instead of a hospital room.  We spent the yesterday playing inside and resting when needed.  You could say I’m partial, but Gracie is absolutely one of the STRONGEST girls I know.

I‘m always reminded that our days are numbered and life is short.  We don’t know what tomorrow will or will not bring, but I find comfort in knowing that every trial I’m put through is a parallel to God’s trust in me.  When facing a trial I know the strength to be gained will be even greater.  We don’t get to pick or choose our trials, but we do get to choose how or if we overcome.

God began allowing me to endure hard trials a long time ago and through the years I’ve seen them to only become harder.  However, by faith and trust — I CHOOSE to ALWAYS OVERCOME!!  I believe the example being set of that is already being shown through my girl.  We’ve seen Gracie endure some tough physical tests in just her first few years of life.  She likes to scare everyone around her, but always comes through on the other side.

My husband and I have found strength we never knew we had since becoming parents.  Things we once feared are now the moments for which we are prepared.  As I’ve always said, from your darkest pain comes your greatest purpose and what you do with that purpose creates your story.  As we celebrate having overcome this trial we do know that there will only be another trial to overcome in the future.

We still have time to be spent in recovery being at home, but thank goodness it’s not in a hospital bed.  With that — I pray you choose to overcome trials in your life, too.  It’s not easy, but it’s absolutely worth it.

Imperfectly Yours,

Katie