Maybe I’m the only one that thinks this way, but I doubt it. I know we all have bad days, good days, depressing days, top of the mountain days — even just numb days.
There are moments of some days when I think — am I really doing all I am capable of or am I allowing my submissive kindness, that society calls respect, of those who have matured in age around me to stand in the way of my potential?
I guess I question more and more as time goes on whether my decision making, in the case of staying safe, has been altered because I want to make others happy. OF COURSE IT HAS!!
In the past three years I’ve learned more than ever that my husband and daughter come first and foremost. Those two are my heart and I — I — I am my life. I can control whether I choose right, left, backward, or forward. The choice to go forward takes a leap of faith, but to remain is to choose now.
Now is good, now is even great, but we can’t stay in now forever.
I miss my siblings, those whom have passed away. What would they say to me today? I miss my siblings, those whom I never get to see. We’re so much alike it’s uncanny that we never grew up together, but in the end we always have each other.
In the doubt that anyone will read this far, I’ll add this, too. I miss my sibling whom I’ve never known. That thought keeps me awake at night and even during the day — I hope their life is full of abundance today. Maybe, one day, I’ll get to know her.
Here’s to late night ramblings and thoughts I should keep to myself, rather than typing or writing them down. I’m simple, but complicated and to my husband — he’s the epitome of love and grace on earth.
Fearlessly Yours,
Katie